I Love Being A White Male

In Columns

Being a white male is so wonderful. I just love being white and being a male. White males are so cool. When I lay my white head on my feathered pillow at night I fall into dreams. In my dreams, I am a white male too, and it is fantastic. When I wake up in the morning and stand in front of the bathroom mirror, I see that white male looking back at me. It is a beautiful sight to behold. All that white male glory waiting to take on the day. The pride I feel as a white male fills the world with accomplishment. When I think of all the accomplishments of the white male I am filled with joy. We walked on the moon, we did so much to move mankind forward. God must be a white male. The Lord must know how wonderful it feels. We are white, we are male, and we love it. The world is our oyster and even pearls are white. The beautiful white clouds that float around in the sky, that is a good day, isn’t it? The undriven white snow is something to see. Even the clouds look male and the snow angels too. I need a glass of white milk to ponder all this. Is this the vision of white males some people have? Maybe the color white is a trigger for these folks? Who knows, maybe the color white is a Microaggression for these nuts? I wonder, is that what that means when they say, white privilege Joy Reid? But let me end with this, I love vanilla ice cream and shakes.

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