The Shackle Shuffle

In Archives, Columns

I remember June 16th, 2008 so vividly. Casey Anthony being marched into the Orange County detention facility with that awful smirk on her deplorable face. How many of you wanted to slap that cocky smile off her face? Boy, I really wanted to. Real bad. What made up for my fury was getting to see her in chains. Hands in front of her cuffed and attached to a chain around her fattening waist. Feet taking half strides because of shackles adhered to her ankles. Watching Casey scoot through the halls on her way to court was not only fitting for what she was charged with, but it seemed to put an air of just desserts into the image.

One of the forums I belong to laughingly named that walk, from the jail to the courthouse, as the shackle shuffle. Until she entered the courtroom, Casey had to wear them for the accused murderer she was. One would figure that as many times she appeared in court, Casey would have mastered the shuffle. Cue video. Shuffle, shuffle, fall. Oh, oh, Casey fell into the elevator. Face first at that. I know it is not really funny, but I laughed my ass off. Dubbing the video we have all seen with loony-tunes music would absolutely split my sides. Along with the explosion visual, we have been accustomed to, when Wiley Coyote would fall off the cliff and land at the bottom, would have lent Casey’s fall with a, “That’s all folks.”

Well, with me, it is not all. I have the now famous video of her fall and I take great delight with replaying it over and over. Stop start, stop start, boom. Ha ha ha, slow motion is even better. Timber! Slam. Watching the video over and over is sort of dastardly, (insert maniacal laughter) but many of us can’t help it. Some, I’m sure, wished she would have broken her shnozz. I also noticed that not one of her escorts really tried to catch her. Makes me wonder if she did it on purpose. Knowing that this particular day in court had her poor excuses for lawyers trying to argue the legitimacy of the death penalty. Could Casey have been intuitive enough to know that all motions argued that day would end up being denied? Thus creating this scene in a feeble attempt to garner sympathy.

With nothing going her way as far as the motion rulings, Casey is running out of ways to illicit sympathy. She’ll get no sympathy from me or the rest of all who feel as I do. Try as she might, the only sympathy I have is for the taxpayers of Florida. I also feel very sorry for those who knew Casey whose lives this wretch has ruined. Even while she sits idle, silently getting fat, her so called friends in jail turn on her. Meanwhile, the rest of the Anthony clan desecrates the memory of sweet Caylee under the guise of unmeaning support for their mother-of-the-year daughter.

I would advise Casey to jot down an instructional syllabus on shackle locomotion and have Bozo or old fogie Mason illegally deliver to the scam-Anthonys. Word is that down the road, George and mainly Cindy, could and should be wearing the chain of shame. That way they both won’t fall flat on their asses, but then again, wouldn’t that also be hilarious. Timber!

Jeff Payne

Mobile Sliding Menu