Did Gay Marriage Expose Lackadaisical Relationships?

In Columns, Music
Did Gay Marriage Expose Lackadaisical Relationships

Watching over the course of my life, the gay community’s struggle for equal rights has been such a roller coaster. Who can forget watching the Gay and Lesbian Community’s fight for the right to marry? All the forces that were against the concept from the churches to the homophobic and violent folks who fought it, seemed overwhelming at times. I will no longer use the term LGBT because they added a Q to it for Queer. I am old enough to remember the days when that horrible word reigned and how it was used. I will not participate in using that initialism because all I can think of is all the people that were beat to death and the word queer was the last word they heard as they left this planet. I understand the community reclaimed this term back in the 1980s and 1990s, but I don’t care what explanation is given, adding the letter Q is a mistake.

Never in my life did I ever think I’d see the day where a man could marry another man or a woman wed another woman. It was an incredible sea change that seemed to happen overnight. Of course, all the people that gave their lives for this fight going back decades, if not centuries, knew it did not happen overnight. There was a lot of blood spilled over the years to make it to the point where Gay Marriage is legal and backed by the courts.

However, I did notice something in the shadows of this victory as time passed by. Many of the gay relationships that I thought were solid, actually never were. There were so many couples that never got married and or just broke up. There were couples whose one partner was an outspoken, raging advocate for Gay Marriage and then the other partner refused to marry them. It was almost like the legitimacy of Legal Gay Marriage exposed the illegitimacy of many relationships that were not on solid ground.

I bet we all know someone who we thought would be married as soon as it was legal and somehow after all of this time, they never got married. Of course, marriage is not the complete end all for having or being in a legitimate relationship. But it must be said, it is certainly a measuring stick. I mean, after all, wasn’t that what it was all about, equal measurement? It is my opinion that the gay folks who screamed from their mountain tops about legal gay marriage, that never stepped up to the plate once it was legal, somehow does a disservice to the fight that was waged by all of the equal rights warriors that gave their lives for it. The halfhearted way they treat marriage now, only exposes that their relationships were sentimental at best or a fraud at worse. They know who they are.


C. Rich
Author, Blogger, Poet

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